so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
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He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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