Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
There r osticjed everywhere
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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