In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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