called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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