in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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