remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize