420 ftw
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Is it penis luge time yet?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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