i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
