East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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