i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Randomize
