I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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