yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
he was CRYING into my vagina
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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