It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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