wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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