on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
