do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
