I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize