yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
