and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!