I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
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Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
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and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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