I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
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I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
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You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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