in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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