I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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