Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Drunk is not a location!
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize