I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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