I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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