My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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