I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
