It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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