i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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