I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
