I wish you could order shots online.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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