If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
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