My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.