I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!