I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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