OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
