It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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