Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
