I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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