Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
