it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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