I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize