The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.