I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really