Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Nicole vs. Life
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful