Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
