I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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