is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize