On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Oh god it's open bar.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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