Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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