Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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