You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
